You can help your parents understand your personal freedom to be honest and hone
to choose the right time and place to talk about it
Personal freedom can be defined as the space or comfort zone that your self belongs to in your physical or emotional interactions with others. People are always confused about what can be included in the list of personal freedom, and what can be allowed to intervene or discuss it, especially if the intervention by the family. There is a fear of the desire to protect the personal space and the need for attachment to the family. However, psychologists believe that setting personal boundaries in dealing with individuals makes relationships more secure, connected, and comfortable than this absence of boundaries. Here we review with you ways to protect your personal freedom while maintaining contact with your family.
Explain your feelings in a calm and respectful way This is the best way to talk to your family about your personal freedom, to ask them to respect your personal space and privacy as you do with them. Be careful and polite in presenting your words, without resorting to crying, raising the voice or anger, or playing the role of victim. You can use some words like: "I do not feel any kind of personal or privacy space in my room, and it bothers me so much. Can you talk about it? "Or you can put a sign on the door of the room indicating that you have to click on the door before entering, and discuss your family's desire. Tell them, for example:" I want to lay a new rule in the house about knocking the door before entering. Is it possible to have a family meeting on this issue? "You can also talk about clicking the door of their room before entering, and you want them to do so before you enter your room too." Start with small things Most problems come from misunderstandings between parents and children. Parents think that their son or daughter is still small to make a decision on his own, and the children are considered the parents of an old generation that wants his children to repeat their previous experience in life. If you are sensitive to talking directly to your family about your personal freedom, or because you do not want to look rude to them or hurt your parents feelings, feel guilty or worried about them, you can begin with simple steps to reach your ultimate goal of setting limits to your area. Personal without a clash with them. For example, if you want to go with them to buy your clothes and want to go alone or with a friend. If you have to accompany one of your parents, stick to your choices in a way that is consistent with your religion and your community customs.
Prove that you are a responsible and trustworthy person and get personal freedom There is another way to indirectly obtain your personal freedom, to act as a responsible, respectable, strong-willed person who can rely on himself to manage his or her own life. Start by doing your own business, such as: arranging your bed daily, keeping your room clean, washing your personal clothes, washing dishes where you eat without being asked to do so. It will also protect your personal space from entering your family into your room and inspecting it for cleanliness or the like. After creating a good ground for speaking by demonstrating your ability to do your own tasks, try, for example, to gently express your refusal to enter the university they have chosen for you, accept your candidate job, do not see it as appropriate for your future plan, or insist on marrying Without your desire at this time. Explain to them your reasons in a logical and rational way, without ridicule them or their different way of thinking with you, and reassure them to share your future plans with them and what you intend to do in your next life, and start to implement your own future project, to see the success of your eyes and feel your seriousness and entitlement to this freedom to determine the fate of your life. Good listening to them While talking, one of the main reasons for constant quarrels with parents is that neither gives the other a chance to talk, does not focus on what he says, but is busy preparing for a quick reaction to win the debate. This method is not polite, it is also devoted to an unhealthy relationship fraught with tension and constant anxiety, and these fights may lose you the personal freedom you seek. So train yourself to listen to your parents carefully, allow them to express their views until they finish showing them, then start commenting and presenting your point of view. Also refrain from using any kind of ridicule even if the speech is on your own, or disagree with it. Follow these tips to make the most of discussion sessions with them: keep away anything that can distract you like a mobile phone or TV sound. Sit in front of your parents, keeping eye contact with them while talking. Body language reflects your inner feeling of the speaker, so be aware of the position of your sitting, the movement of your hands and feet. Wait until your parents finish their conversation, and then talk. Provide clarification by asking questions to make sure you have received the correct message. Ask them what you can improve Part of the skill in dealing with parents, to get the personal freedom desired, is to ask them what you can do to improve your relationship with each other, and to be satisfied with you. They may be annoyed with you because you are angry with your neglect. For example, your mother returns from work completely exhausted, to find the laundry basin full of dishes while you sit in front of the television. So ask them if they need more help at home, and it would be better to do so on your own. You can also show them how upset you are about your recent bad relationship, what you can do to improve the situation, and restore calm and peace of mind home. Stay calm You may feel that your father is unfair, or even harsh, and that you do not enjoy your personal freedom enough, but it is difficult to control your father, but the best is to control your feelings. Even if he constantly yells at you, he does not respond the same way. She does not leave the house in a huff, or interrupts his speech, or shouts at him during the two of them together. If you do something wrong, apologize quickly. If you do not, sit down until the battle is over and calm down again. At that time, breathe deeply from your nose and take it out of your mouth to keep your calm and do not run. It's OK to show some of your angry feelings, but do not let them consume you or make you do things you regret later.
Commit to your promises In order to obtain your personal freedom, you must basically trust your parents. If you tell your father that you will do something, do your best to fulfill that promise that you made to yourself. If both of you feel confident about each other, the relationship will develop positively and then reassure your father to give you more personal space. But try as much as possible not to cut yourself promises that you can not achieve, or implement comfortably. It is very important to be honest with your parents, even if you make a mistake, you must tell them the whole truth, they may get a bit angry, but they will appreciate your sincerity and honesty, respect for them and respect for yourself primarily. Choose the parent most likely to understand for your personal freedom and consent of your parents at the same time; you should be flexible and intelligent in your actions. Depending on what you want, one of your parents may be easier to talk than the other. If you realize this, choose the parent who feels more comfortable talking to him. Take it aside when the other is not at home and discuss it. For example, if you want to go to your girlfriend's engagement party, and you know that your father is completely against these things, you can talk to your mother instead, you might be willing to help you make it easier for you to leave the house without telling your father, or she might convince him , Or maybe you should go with you to be more comfortable with you so your father will find no room to object. Depend on someone you trust to get help or advice If you feel that your family is too controlling and controlling your own life, or that your personal freedom is constantly shrinking, it is necessary to talk to a trusted third party on your part and to your parents and be aware of your situation. Help or talk to your parents about this. A family member, school teacher, or a close friend of your father may be able to influence him. It may also help you manage the conversation with your parents without a clash, or give you the advice that you are looking for in general. Give them some time if your parents do not understand your desires right away, so do not worry. People often need some time to think about things before giving permission to do them. If you hope that your parents will change their opinion about a subject, give them some time to understand it. Until then, I respect their decision. For example, if you want to cut or change the color of your hair, and your mother does not agree, do not sneak out and do it. But wait until you agree, or even move to live with your husband and get enough money to do so. Remember that they love you as a teenager, feel the desire to be independent from your parents, and begin to raise your "personal freedom" slogans when opposing one of your decisions, and the quarrel between you may make you feel as if you are at war. But regardless of the difficulty of your relationship with your parents, or their preoccupation with you for some time, they love you very much, and the most sincere person can wish you good. Sometimes you will feel the opposite, and sometimes you will understand their feelings and fear for them, so it is important to always remember that they only want the best for you, and always act out of love and care for you.
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